The Joys of Employment

by Vulture Shit

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    Multicolored 7" record featuring artwork and liner notes by Alex Crocetti. First fifty copies include a floppy disk with a bonus track—not available anywhere else.

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about

Money Fire Records
MFR-006

credits

released 20 February 2014

Written and Performed by Vulture Shit
Engineered, Mixed, and Mastered by John Meredith at Mollusk Studio
Art by Alex Crocetti

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Track Name: Clinching Deals on the Links
Wanna put some money on it?
A thousand dollars sounds fine
I like the game to mean something
And win it, and win it, and win it

I never talk business
Before the back nine
How are the wife and kids?
Just fine, just fine, just fine, just fine?

Gonna bend you over stuff your face in the grass
I never lose a game and I never lose cash
It's a pleasure doing business when the pleasure's all mine
I'm never over par with a deal on the line

Your supplier's a piece of shit
Fucking me at fifty-five
Yeah I know he's a cousin of yours
He's family, he's family, he's family

You been working on your putt?
Yeah, I can tell
So you gonna sell or what?
We want it, we want it, we want it

Cha-ching!
Track Name: Sweat Lodge
It must be like a thousand degrees
Sweat pools beneath my back, between my knees
If I could open the window there might be a breeze
If I could move at all I'd tear myself free

I can't stand it it’s so hot in here it’s like a sweat lodge, baby
I can't stand it it’s so hot in here it’s like a sweat lodge

No one visits me anymore
Only nurses coming through that door

The man on TV says there's snow outside this room
Two months trapped in my plaster tomb
I won’t fix, my bones won’t repair
My skin is crawling and I can’t feel the air can’t feel the air
Track Name: I Love My Job
All day
All night
Cold calls
All right
I work
From home
Use my
Own phone

You can't have it all
At least that's what they say
They're all liars, they're all liars, look at me today!

Don't rent
I own
My lawn
Gets mowed
People work
For me
They make
Me free

I love my job
Track Name: Church Van Contraband
You kids like fireworks?

You want some porn or some cheap smokes?
I don’t check ID
After youth group or behind the high school
Just look for the van with the logo of the Holy Redeemer

Church van contraband got what you need
Church van contraband nothing is free

I don’t believe in Jesus Christ
But he helps me every day
Cuz when the pigs see “Church Van”
You know they look the other way the other way every time

Church van contraband got what you need
Church van contraband nothing is free nothing is free nothing is free nothing is free no

My mom thinks I’m a youth pastor
My friends think that I’m a bastard
My dad thinks I love my job
My girl thinks that I’m a slob
The pigs think I’m a good citizen
The priest thinks I’m a good Christian
The kids know that I’m the man
I’ll sell you anything out of the back of my van

Church van contraband
Nothing is free
No! Nothing
Track Name: That’s My Little Guy
Everything we do, we do for God
Gabe's a member of our family
His favorite color's blue
And the angels love him just as much as we do

We keep him in a jar on the mantle
And celebrate every birthday
The kids think of him as a brother
He's not a fetus, not a fetus, he's a real boy

I love him so much
I love him so much
I love him so much
That's my little guy

The lord giveth and He taketh away
But Gabe He took too soon
I know He just wanted him close to His bosom
And I love ‘em both, I love ‘em both, I love ‘em both, I love ‘em both
If I could have one miracle
If I could have just one prayer answered
If I could have him back for just, for just, for just one hour

He's hanging out in heaven with Jesus now
I keep a photo of him in my wallet